For some reason, this week-end I had a moment of clarity. We went to the movies with Sam and Anais to see Space Chimps ( Sam loved it by the way). As we were watching the movie I looked at Jeff, Sam and Anais. Anais was so content in her little car seat...she was so good! For the first time, I felt like this was it...this IS my perfect family. I have the absolute best husband in the entire world...really I do! We have been together for 12 years and we love each other more and more every day. I really feel like we were made for each other. Sam is the brightest little girl and she is just so full of life...she inspires me everyday. She is so smart and funny! I am NEVER bored with her...she's my little princess and I love her more than life itself.
And then,we have Anais... just thinking about her brings so much joy. She is not even 3 months old and has taught me more than anyone in my entire life. She has taught me to be accepting of others no matter what they look like and that is something so important. I now see the beauty of PEOPLE...just people, for who they are. There is so much beauty in this world, so many beautiful people that we sometime don't even take the time to look at. I used to say "why did this happen to us?" and now I am starting to see that this did not "happen" to us. We had a child, OUR child and she is perfect in her own way, she's MY daughter and that makes her perfect to me.
For those of you who know me, you know I am not a religious person at all and I don't believe that there is a reason behind all this. All I know is that sometimes life brings you surprises, joys, obstacles and challenges and we as human beings have to make a choice on how to take them. I choose to celebrate my daughters for who they are. They are the children I had with Jeff and that makes them perfect to me.
Maybe out there someone is reading this because they are pregnant and were told that their baby would be "different". I want to tell them that it's OK...things will turn out just fine and even though you don't see it now, you WILL find a tremendous inner strength and you WILL be happy. You will love your child in a way you can't even imagine. I used to think that there was no way I coud ever be happy again...I could not have been more wrong! Anais has made me a better person and a better mom and I thank her for that.
On a lighter note, here are some pictures of the last couple days.
Sam last Friday right before school...isn't she so cute in her uniform?
The four of us hanging out in Sam's room
Yesterday, right before going to the movies to see Space Chimps.
Jeff and Sam walking to the mail box. Sam LOVES getting the mail with Jeff, it's like a special treat for her.
Sam, Anais and I had some fun taking pictures.
We went to the pool today. Sam had a blast in the water with Jeff and Anais enjoyed herself too: she ate and then took a nap.
9 comments:
Man, I'm never the first to leave a comment! LOL... Anyway, Cherylle and I really feel the same way about our family. We're very happy to have Caitlin, and feel we're uniquely suited to help raise her with our backgrounds. We are religious, but I've never felt that God does things like this on purpose. This is live - you take what you are given and be happy with it. And, to top it all off, if we hadn't had Caitlin, or if she hadn't been who she is now, we wouldn't have the incredible group of friends that we have now, from all over the world. Yay!
You do have a beautiful family! Your post gave me goosbumps. We were both given such a gift and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Just remembering some of our converstations BA (before Anais) I can see how far you have come. I knew you would feel the same way we all feel, but it's such a difficult journey to get there. What an amazing mom you are to your two beautiful girls!!
Alex!
I'm glad to hear you have reached this "place" where you feel complete and perfect! It is so good to hear.
Trisha
Alex, Your feelings are a milestone you had to reach and we all reached it at different times. It is ok. I mean sometimes I feel bad that Preston cannot reach the water fountain-but just for a fleeting sceond untilI watch himhoist himself up and hold himself suspended in air to take a drink.
Anais will amaze you! And yes Preston changed me so much too! For the better. You are a great mommy! Sam looked adorable in her uniform by the way!
Cal said He wants to come to your house to play, He also said " that baby is cute" and that last thing he said was " I want to swim in that pool."
Okay now what I what to say...
Love this post! I knew this day would come. I love you so much Alex, and I'm so glad you picked me to be a cheesy friend to you.
Tell your husband that I love his hair! I really do, I'm not kidding.
Oh, that is sooooooooooo cute. Really meaningful statements, beautiful pictures. I told Jeff today how fortunate Anais is to have such a loving family and this confirms it.
-Jordan
Your family is WONDERFUL! It does take time to feel at peace and comfortable with the family - when something like dwarfism throws you a curveball. But once you get to that place, it's so wonderful. Love the photos. Keep 'em coming!
You do have a perfect family! Taylor wants Sam to be her friend, as she also started pre-K today! And Taylor thinks that "Sam's little sister is soooo cute!" Now I see where Sam gets that beautiful red hair! I can't remember when the reality changed for us, but we can't image Trace any other way than he is!
Congrats on finding that "place" in the journey we're all basically on together, Alex.
Ours is 4 now ... and she makes me laugh, cry, grumble, shake my head, roll my eyes, shout and also fawn over her every day.
Some day, for therapeutic purposes, I may write on our blog about the beginning of our journey and how much of a struggle it was to not only accept, but explain to family and friends (as if we should have to explain anything).
I'm just not ready to go there yet. Stay tuned.
Great post, though ... you guys have a beautiful family.
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