When I was told that Anais had dwarfism, I was about 34 weeks pregnant. I remember feeling like I had lost a dream. I felt like I would never had that "perfect family" I had always wanted. I had an image of the family I was supposed to have and having a child with dwarfism just did not fit with the picture.
For some reason, this week-end I had a moment of clarity. We went to the movies with Sam and Anais to see Space Chimps ( Sam loved it by the way). As we were watching the movie I looked at Jeff, Sam and Anais. Anais was so content in her little car seat...she was so good! For the first time, I felt like this was it...this IS my perfect family. I have the absolute best husband in the entire world...really I do! We have been together for 12 years and we love each other more and more every day. I really feel like we were made for each other. Sam is the brightest little girl and she is just so full of life...she inspires me everyday. She is so smart and funny! I am NEVER bored with her...she's my little princess and I love her more than life itself.
And then,we have Anais... just thinking about her brings so much joy. She is not even 3 months old and has taught me more than anyone in my entire life. She has taught me to be accepting of others no matter what they look like and that is something so important. I now see the beauty of PEOPLE...just people, for who they are. There is so much beauty in this world, so many beautiful people that we sometime don't even take the time to look at. I used to say "why did this happen to us?" and now I am starting to see that this did not "happen" to us. We had a child, OUR child and she is perfect in her own way, she's MY daughter and that makes her perfect to me.
For those of you who know me, you know I am not a religious person at all and I don't believe that there is a reason behind all this. All I know is that sometimes life brings you surprises, joys, obstacles and challenges and we as human beings have to make a choice on how to take them. I choose to celebrate my daughters for who they are. They are the children I had with Jeff and that makes them perfect to me.
Maybe out there someone is reading this because they are pregnant and were told that their baby would be "different". I want to tell them that it's OK...things will turn out just fine and even though you don't see it now, you WILL find a tremendous inner strength and you WILL be happy. You will love your child in a way you can't even imagine. I used to think that there was no way I coud ever be happy again...I could not have been more wrong! Anais has made me a better person and a better mom and I thank her for that.
On a lighter note, here are some pictures of the last couple days.
Sam last Friday right before school...isn't she so cute in her uniform?
The four of us hanging out in Sam's room
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Yesterday, right before going to the movies to see Space Chimps.
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Jeff and Sam walking to the mail box. Sam LOVES getting the mail with Jeff, it's like a special treat for her.
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Sam, Anais and I had some fun taking pictures.